R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
