We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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