hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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