he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize