Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
