3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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