If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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