I bet he comes in French.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
