He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
