We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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