They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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