we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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