Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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