she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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