if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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