We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize