that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
