I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
