I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Panties = found
Randomize
