I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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