I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
