I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
