he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
