How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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