She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
