I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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