Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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