made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize