You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
