Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
