he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
