just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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