so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
