Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
