Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
