I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
