yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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