You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize