Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
