As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
