Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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