Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
