I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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