omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
