Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
