YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
