Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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