im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
