Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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