Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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