Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize