I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
