Your dad touched me again.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
