I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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