So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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