I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
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i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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