I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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