Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
