mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
