At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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