There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
