so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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