i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
