so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
