I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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