Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
