These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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