grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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